Don’t worry, this analysis of Last Christmas by Wham! that previously appeared on other websites won’t plunge you straight into Whamageddon. Still, we should take a moment to talk about Last Christmas—an in-depth analysis.
Just to set the record straight...
Let’s start by setting some things straight. This article is on Artigenda’s website, but was once published by De Goede Huisvader. Changing business activities caused a move to Harm Jagerman’s website, only to end up on Artigenda’s website in August 2024.
Everything she wants
The song was part of the double A-side of Everything she wants, as you can read on the Wikipedia page. Indeed, this song has its own Wikipedia page.
So, let’s talk about Last Christmas. There is something to be said about this Last Christmas. What about this last Christmas? What was the year exactly? When did these events take place exactly? The song dates back to 1984, so is it safe to conclude these events took place in 1983? Or was this even before this year?
Not possible
“I gave you my heart” is such a sweet thing to say but impossible unless there is an organ donation involved. Let’s assume this is a metaphor. If this is so, you give your love to someone and that certain someone gives your love away: “But the very next day, you gave it away.” As a sort of self-protection, this year (what year?) the love will only be given to someone else. An extraordinary someone. This will all help to prevent another robbery. That’s nice, but I don’t see how this will work, since someone else – a third person seems to be the owner of that love.
If you’re not familiar with the term “Once bitten and twice shy” you should look it up in the dictionary. Don’t take it too literally. It has nothing to do with the actual biting. I would be furious, not shy. According to Merriam-Webster, “Once bitten, twice shy” means: “that a person who has failed or been hurt when trying to do something is careful or fearful about doing it again.” That’s great. Keep your distance. What’s not so great, is the impression that someone has decided to lurk from a distance to see what’s going on: “I keep my distance, but you still catch my eye.” That’s just self-flagellation. Perhaps worse than that: stalking!
One year
Tell me, baby, do you recognize me?
Well, it's been a year, it doesn't surprise me
A year is quite a long time. Twelve months, 52 weeks, 365 days. People can change. The other person may not recognize you. I dare not comment on that. These are questions you ask each other when you don’t see each other for a longer period. For example, ten or twenty years.
The next part is particularly interesting. “Merry Christmas”, so wrap up a Merry Christmas? Together with a note declaring your love (“Wrapped it up and sent it with a note saying ‘I love you’). To add extra force to the words: “I mean it.” Not just because it rhymes well, but because you mean it, of course. It’s special because I thought the love was over. You think that is nonsense yourself because you actually consider yourself a fool and when you are kissed you are so easily deceived (“Now I know what a fool I’ve been… But if you kissed me now… I know you’d fool me again”).
Led on
You like being led on. You like it when someone plays you. Not in a physical sense.
“A crowded room, friends with tired eyes” suggests that it is time for everyone to go to bed. Is it already clear who sleeps where? It seems to me that agreements need to be made about this. That prevents misunderstandings.
“I’m hiding from you, and your soul of ice.” Nice, let’s play hide and seek! You know, ice can melt…
Drama
My god, I thought you were someone to rely on
Me? I guess I was a shoulder to cry on
Time for some drama! As if we hadn’t already had enough drama. Yes, share your deepest thoughts for a moment. Just let it all out. Like a stream of words. Maybe you should make it into a song… wait…
Don’t let it be known that you haven’t realized that you were just a rebound. Yes, it’s tough. Just like a sledgehammer. Pun not intended.
Do you ever watch horror movies? The next bit could be straight out of a horror movie, I think. I mean, “a face on a lover with a fire in his heart.” The lover has an extra face. Yes, yes, metaphors, metaphors. The lover has more than one face. A double agenda… blablabla. Just imagine, in real life: two faces. Two faces!
What about a fiery heart and a soul of ice? Everyone knows that ice will certainly melt. That creates a mess and who is going to clean it up?
It was a good idea to go undercover, wasn’t it? There is always trouble. Things like that get out and before you know it you’re caught and, like in this song, you’re torn apart.
New love
All’s well that ends. It looks like that. New love has been found (yay): “Now I’ve found a real love. You’ll never fool me again.” It’s just very contradictory, isn’t it? It was just a matter of kissing each other and fooling yourself.
It looks like you are trying to convince someone. Yourself maybe. Is there a new love? Isn’t it just a strong example of bluff poker? We don’t know for sure. The song was written in the eighties and unfortunately, George Michael passed away in 2016. Let that be the most tragic thing of all: George Michael is gone.
2016
George Michael passed away on December 25, 2016. With him, we lost one of the greatest and most successful singers of the eighties and nineties. Granted, Last Christmas may not be the best example of his musical legacy. The number mainly raises a lot of questions. Lots of questions.
DON'T WATCH
Unless you’re ready for Whamageddon…
Image at top of this page: Pexels.
